Hopefully the following will help you formulate more questions for your dentists.

We're not entirely sure that what the two are offering are complete opposites, at least for the 4 teeth that evidently have the most wear.

One dentist says they're placing veneers that wrap around the teeth so they're almost full crowns. (But for all 8 teeth rather than just the 4 the other dentist plans to treat? If the other dentist thinks they can treat your situation by working on just 4 teeth, why do an additional 4 require veneering?)

The other dentist says they are placing crowns but not grinding the teeth down as fully as what might normally be expected.

Generally speaking we'd lean toward the crowns but are the planned ones all-ceramic ones? (They must be if the tooth will be ground down less and usual.) If so, not all types of all-ceramics are as strong as others. The ceramic used to create Lumineers (Cerinate) is known for it's strength (a positive for the Lumineer "crowns"), as are some but not all types of porcelains used to make all-ceramic crowns.

Like you mention, your clenching habit won't cease just because your teeth have been rebuilt. And the effects of your future grinding will simply affect the weakest link that remains (possibly breaking your new restorations, result in wear or breakage of the opposing teeth, or result in a loosening effect of your teeth).

So whichever dentist acknowledges this and has a plan for helping you to mitigate the effects of your grinding (usually by way of wearing some type of appliance, at night or even during the day if needed) would seem to us to be the one who has a better grasp of what's needed to create a successful result.

Since you live in a large metropolitan area where no doubt some are available, we will mention a "fixed" prosthodontist is a type of dentist that specializes in just placing veneers, crowns and bridges. So if you think your case might be one that needs that level of expertise you might considering consulting with one.

Best of luck on this.

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